So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Sex in the backyard? Check.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
