i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Randomize
