i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yo dont text me then not text me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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