At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
