what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
