So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
