I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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