We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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