We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
