He uses pillows to masturbate.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
