All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
