I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
