He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
