I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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