just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
