Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
