I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
