I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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