Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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