Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
