guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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