I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
