It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
