FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
