im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
