So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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