he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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