just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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