is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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