I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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