thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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