Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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