At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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