I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
