Cold hands, warm shart.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
