so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
