Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
