I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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