school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
