is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
