thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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