How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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