Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
