You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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