When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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