it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
