I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The adults are the big ones right?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
