it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
