we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
