i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it's like heaven, but drunker
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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