He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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