I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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