just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
