Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
My ATM looks so different sober.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
