he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
