I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
